Job Search Status: Crickets…

I’m incredibly behind.

My goal — apply for 200 jobs in 30 days on Indeed — is stupid so I’m acting like a child and refusing to participate with my self-imposed goal, and I’m using the excuse that it’s the most mind-numbingly painful and depressing experiment ever and I shouldn’t be expected to do this. Yet I’m the one who told myself to take this on because, like everyone lately, I still hate my job. And more so by the day.

Yesterday, I applied for a couple of jobs through LinkedIn. Yes, I’ve resorted to cheating. It felt elitist almost.

So far, I’ve only submitted 20-something applications via Indeed. I should have submitted at least 70 by now to stay on track, maybe 100. For reference, I’ve also tried writing this post 3 times but gave up because I was annoying myself. So it’s not just Indeed, it’s me.

And the results? Still nada. No one has contacted me from an application submitted via Indeed. I’m pretty convinced that the site is some weird abyss where applications go to be lost forever, like what I assumed happened to all of the kids who weren’t Charlie in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (Watch the trailer to understand how screwed up it was to be a kid in the early 1970s. This trailer was s’posed to entice us to see the film in a theatre, which I did, which was disturbing and emotionally scarring [4 grandparents in the same bed!?!???] and definitely not a kids’ film, although it does sum up early GenX childhood pretty efficiently.)

I realized today that my current job is destined to dry up any second now (I’ve seen the sales numbers), which was license for me to spend a couple of minutes putting in actual effort for exactly 2 Indeed jobs that I thought might have potential — I applied on the job-posters’ websites. I’m wondering if I can count double credit toward my 200 application for these because I ACTUALLY HAD TO CLICK A LINK.

Guess what? If you click this link, nothing will happen. It’s just like applying for a job at Indeed!

That click, BTW, is more than the employer that flushed me without actually reviewing my application did. But, always the optimist, I counted that flush as progress, too. One less deadbeat potential boss to worry about!

Incidentally, Indeed should have an auto-apply option. Just submit me for any shit that comes close to matching my resume. Need a writer? Need a marketer? Need someone with a pulse? Submit me! It would save me time and effort and be no less effective than the process is now.

No wonder people hate this shit.


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