TLDR: Twitter tells Marjorie Taylor Greene to stop tweeting from her account — and claims that it’s forever.
In its long history of esteemed bans, MGT was told by Twitter to go sit in a corner and stop telling lies about COVID after rattling off a series of 19 COVID lies on New Year’s day 2022 obviously to preserve the integrity of tweets everywhere. While on the surface, this may seem like the ticket to shut Marj up for a bit, it likely won’t be as sad an occurrence as Trump’s full-on ban was for him, since he was as dependent upon the platform as he likely was on his nightly cofeve…
What Marjorie Taylor Greene’s permanent suspension means if you’re a …
50-something year old woman with advanced degrees in the humanities: Your first reaction: “Marjorie Taylor Greene can compose a tweet?” Since she’s barely coherent most of the time, this thought rattles your world. Then you find your Twitter login (for one of the five troll accounts you created after November 2016) and put that thought out of your brain because coherence obviously isn’t essential.
Your second reaction: Will anyone care? You consider shooting off a DM to the uncle, great-aunt, and hillbilly cousin you blocked in 2016, again in 2017, 18, 18, and 20, until it finally stuck, but don’t want to remind them that you’re still alive.
Your third reaction: where’s the logic. It’s the bane of your humanities degree no doubt, but isn’t a “permanent suspension” an oxymoron? The definition of “suspension” is a temporary halt, so how can something temporary be permanent. After all, is a divorce merely a suspension of your marriage? Is repossession just a suspension of your car loan? Is telling your boss to go fuck himself just going to result in HR telling you to take a temporary departure from your job? When we argue Roe v. Wade, can we just call them suspended pregnancies? Because, sure, that all makes sense.
Middle-aged marketer: The numbers show you that normal people don’t actual read anything on Twitter anyway, which is why your demand-gen programs there always tank. Only the press gives a shit about what happens on Twitter now. MGT should just stick to Facebook — lots of whack-ass old people there.
High school student: Huh? When I was suspended for telling my teacher to go fuck himself, I was only out 3 days. Wasn’t worth it. Had I been in class, I would have been exposed to COVID by the mouth-breather next to me and gotten a full 5 days away from school.
Everyone else: Ha..hang…hang on. Watching Tik-Tok.
Update (Jan 9 2022): Surprise! Marjorie Taylor Greene has another Twitter account. According to Newsweek, she began tweeting from it again this week — after she told her followers to leave Twitter. I know … logic.